Instagram Status

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

They say "don't drink and drive". Well.... yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I'm a badass.

That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like "Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald's".

Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :').

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

Cool Instagram Status

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).

God is really creative, i mean...just look at me.

May I go to the toilet = I'm fucking bored.

When I drink alcohol... Everyone says I'm alcoholic. But... When I drink Fanta.. No one says I'm fantastic.

Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.

Instagram Status

Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.

The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.

It's funny how all trust goes away when you can't find the remote. ''Are you sitting on the remote?'' No. ''Stand up''.

Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!

Instagram Status Clever

Insert coin to view my status message.

Instagram Status Love

Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married. Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.